5 Ways to Live Each Day as the Hero Dad Your Kids Believe You Are

Batman, Superman, Spiderman, Ironman and…..Dad? Yep, you read that right. What, you didn’t know that you’re a hero? At least that’s how your kids see you. Whether you believe it or not is another story altogether.

Do you find yourself struggling with this thought? A hero? Really? That’s not me. A hero is fearless. A hero is courageous. A hero is brave. These are traits that are buried deep within you, but somewhere in life you learned or were taught that you can’t possibly live up to these ideals. This is a lie. You were always meant to be a hero. This is….who…..you…..are.

This is the dad you’re meant to be. Okay, but a hero has superpowers. You know what? So do you. You are the one who has the gift of empowering your kids to be and do anything. You are the one whose attention, approval, and love they work so hard to get. You are the one who plays the biggest role in their lives and you, unlike anyone else on this earth, can set them on a course for great success in their lives. Sure sounds like a superpower to me.

You know what the best news of all is? You have what you need to help your kids win. You have all the tools required to live each day as the hero your kids already wholeheartedly believe you are. You just need to put in the work. You need to train. Its okay to ask for help. Even heroes had teachers. The tools are there you just need to develop them, practice them, and refine them. Here are 5 things I do that have had a positive impact on me being the dad I want to be for my kids.

Be Present

Time. It's one of my core values. Time is the one thing you can never get back. We always want more time. There are only 24 hours in a day, but it still doesn’t feel like enough. Yet, so much time is wasted on things that have little to no long-term impact on our lives. It doesn’t have to be this way. Your time with your kids grows shorter by the day. Your ability to impact their lives is fleeting. These moments are priceless.

Put the phone away. Set it down somewhere and forget about it. Lock it up or maybe even let your wife hide it from you. Eliminate the distractions and just……be there. Get lost in these moments with your kids. Savor them. I like to ask myself what do I really want to remember from this moment? It could be my daughter’s voice as she sings “You are so beautiful….to meeeeeee!” (as only she can), or the way my son laughs uncontrollably when I tickle him or how it feels when my daughter wraps her arms around my neck and buries her head into my chest.

Prioritize moments

I have a couple of techniques for memorializing and reflecting on these moments with my kids. One of the things I like to do is to record at least one memory each day using the Notion app. If there are any photos or videos associated with this memory I’ll include those as well. Then I can always look back and reflect on these moments with feelings of gratitude and joy.

Something else I like to do is post one picture each day to a private Instagram account meant solely for this purpose. No hashtags. Just a short 2-3 word description that encompasses this moment. Then I take a few minutes to reflect and remember this moment and how it made me feel. I have this Instagram account connected to an app called Chatbooks. Once I post enough pictures I will get a little book with those photos automatically shipped to my home.

Being a dad is a blessing unlike any other. It comes with low moments and challenges for sure, but the incredible highs make you forget about the lows. Don’t miss out on these moments. Be intentional about protecting, guarding, and memorializing this time with your kids. You can never get it back.

2. Own Your Mistakes

What is the picture you have of a hero in your heads? Most times when we think of heroes, words like strength, invincibility and triumph come to mind. We forget that nearly every single superhero there has ever been has had to face challenges. They all made mistakes. They failed, but they failed fast and learned from their missteps. Inevitably, they rise and come back stronger, more equipped and better prepared to go fight the enemy again with a much better chance to achieve victory this time.

imperfection is okay

Part of being a dad and a man is owning your mistakes. Your kids need to know this. Just recently I completed an exercise where I was asked what words I would include on my tombstone. One of the words that came to mind was imperfect. You see, I want my kids to know that I make mistakes.

I’ve done things as a dad that I’m not proud of, but every time I do I go to my kids and admit that. I tell them “Daddy makes mistakes, just like you do. And that's okay. I learn from them and aim to do better next time.” What they hear is that my hero isn’t perfect and neither am I and that’s normal. It’s okay.

Don’t let your kids think you’re perfect. You are doing them a disservice because when they make a mistake they’ll think to themselves why can’t I be perfect like daddy.

Accept that you’re going to make mistakes. Own them. Invite your kids into this process. Don’t hide it from them. Let them see the human side of you not just the hero side.

3. Embrace Playtime

Heroes embrace whatever identity they have to in order to accomplish the mission. Sometimes they're the savior, sometimes they're the role player, and sometimes, ironically enough, they're the villain. This sounds to me a lot like how I interact with my kids during playtime.

My kids cherish playtime and I’ve discovered that I need it too. It is one of the ways I fill my cup. Honestly, playtime comes pretty easy for me. I enjoy it. I think it is an outlet for the child inside of me to take over. One minute I’m a cheetah chasing a pack of antelope (or as my kids call them cantelope), the next minute I’m Goliath on the trampoline and then I might finish it off with a rousing game of chase where I am the scary monster.

Usually what I hear from other dads is I’m just not good at that. Well, Guess what? You don’t have to be. Your kids aren’t going to grade you. Do you know what my kids have never said to me? Daddy your Elmo impression could really use some work. He has a higher-pitched voice than that. Work on that a little and then we can try to play Sesame Street again.

All they want is YOU. They want time with their dad. Give it to them. Just play with them. Don’t be afraid to be silly. Get outside of your comfort zone. Don’t overthink it. Have fun with it. You never know, you might even enjoy it.

4. Show Them Love

Heroes serve for the betterment of society. They put their lives on the line for the ones they love. They go to battle to protect their friends and family and to make the world a better place for them. I don’t know about you, but that sounds a lot like how I view being a dad. What really matters isn’t me, its my wife and my kids.

This is easy to say or think, but can sometimes be difficult to express. Show your kids you love them. Hug them often. Give them kisses. I do this a lot because I know there may come a day when my boys and my daughter won’t jump at the chance to hug me or give me kisses on the cheek. Oh, how I soak in these moments now. I am intentional about telling all of them that I love them. I’ll do it randomly throughout the day just to make sure it is ingrained in their souls. Daddy loves me. I want them to know that. I also make it a point to tell my kids that I am proud of them and blessed to be their daddy.

Life is too short. All you have is right now. Your kids need to know, without any shadow of a doubt, that they are loved by their dad. Don’t leave that up to chance. Don’t leave it open for interpretation. Tell them and tell them often. Give them hugs. Embrace them. Kiss them. Make sure they grow up proud to be their daddy’s son or daughter.

5. Fill Your Cup

Heroes think of themselves first. They have to be in top physical, mental and emotional condition in order to face the evils of the world they are attempting to save. A hero realizes that his cup must be full in order to give of himself. So too, is this true of dads.

You can’t be the hero dad that you want to be without investing some time in yourself. This type of self-care is extremely important to your well-being and success as a dad. Don’t let others convince you that this is wrong and unacceptable. Is this selfish? Yes, but you have to be a bit selfish so you can be selfless. Figure out what fills your cup. Discover the purpose you’re meant to fulfill. This takes work, but it will pay major dividends. Invest the time into figuring out what is most important for you to get refreshed and reenergized. Then be intentional about making time to do those things.

My faith and my family are my top 2 core values, therefore much of my self-care revolves around these things. Reading scripture, prayer, playing with my kids, journaling and running. These are a few of the things I do so that my cup remains full. What are yours? Put in the time. Figure it out. Give your kids the best version of you.

You are a hero Dad

This is exactly what you are. A hero dad. This is how your kids see you….right now. Add these 5 tips to your toolbelt, or I guess I should say utility belt. Remember, you have everything you need. You just have to put in the work. Learn how to use those superpowers and be the hero dad your kids already know and believe that you are. Let me know which of these five tips resonates the most with you. Which one made the biggest difference for you, as a dad. Check-in with me on Facebook, or on Instagram and let me know. You can also get in touch with me by sending an email.

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