Discovering The Purpose God Has Called You To
Why me? Have you ever asked yourself that? That was the question that I found myself thinking about more and more often. Life definitely threw its fair share of curveballs in my direction. Though, the latest one actually led to accidentally uncovering the purpose that God had called me to.
Like many men, I struggled with what my purpose was for a long time. Keeping in step with the rest of my life, I tried to determine this by myself and in my own timing. As you can imagine, that was a colossal failure that left me feeling empty, unfulfilled, and confused. I continued to wrestle with this question and prayed about it a lot, but nothing definitive ever emerged. I have always had a heart for marriage and parenting, but in my prayer time, up till now, I never heard or felt God pushing me in that direction. Eventually I started asking the right questions and I discovered the answer to the "Why Me" question I kept asking myself. So if you are looking to discover your own purpose and passion in life let me give you a few pointers to get started.
3 Steps towards Uncovering Your Purpose
How do you know you found your purpose? Let me tell you my experience. Once I began to uncover the passion I had around fatherhood no matter how many times I tried to ignore it or tell myself I’m not the right person for this the desire wouldn’t go away. That passion and purpose just continued (and still continues to grow) until I couldn’t ignore it anymore. Here are a few steps that I myself experienced, that you can also try for yourself.
1. Focus on Trying New Things
Today there is so much attention and pressure around knowing what you want to do in life. What role does God have for you to play? I started hearing this pretty emphatically near the end of my middle school days and early on into high school. It’s hard enough just dealing with adolescence by itself, much less trying to figure out RIGHT NOW what you are meant to do with the rest of your life. Even adults struggle with this. According to a study, 21% of adults in America think about their purpose daily while another 21% think about it weekly and 15% think about it monthly. While only 23% never think about it at all.
After putting myself through a lot of pressure and frustration about not being sure of my purpose or if I was living it I eventually found the way forward. I discovered the value and relief that came from taking my time and allowing this process to play out. Don't rush it. Remember timing is everything. Try new things and see what sticks. Here are a few ideas you can try that can help you start to uncover your purpose.
Get Involved in Your Community - Get to know your neighbors. Build social connections. Is there something you can do to volunteer your time? Serve at the local animal shelter or read to the elderly at retirement homes. Could you organize an event or group in your neighborhood around something that interests you?
Volunteer at Your Church - Churches offer many opportunities to serve in various ministries including young parents, young marrieds, men’s groups, singles, etc., Find one that aligns with your values and sign up to help.
Find the Right Job - Do you wake up on Monday mornings dreading going into work? Roughly 1/3 of your life is spent at work, so why not spend it doing something you truly enjoy? What steps can you take to find a job that will fill your bucket and leave you more fulfilled?
Experiment with Different Hobbies - What do you do where the time seems to just fly by? What other interests do you have? What steps could you take to you turn your hobby into a career?
Join A Mastermind Group - A mastermind group is a group of peers who meet to give each other advice and support. These groups are often based around business, but many masterminds exist for non-business-related things too. Find a mastermind group centered around your business or an area you want to grow in.
Get Out of Your Comfort Zone and Learn Something New - Take up daily meditation, sign up and train for a marathon, start a bullet journal, or take a class on how to cook gourmet meals. The best way to grow is by getting outside of your comfort zone. Find something you want to learn more about or an area that you want to grow in. What action do you need to take to get started today?
2. Get specific
As a man of faith, prayer has always been an important part of my life. I often would question God about what my purpose was, but my inquiry was always very general. "God what do you want me to do?" or "What is my purpose in life?" are the sort of questions that I would ask. I'm certain God answered me, however, I don't believe I was in the right frame of mind to hear His direction and guidance at the time. I needed to go through a process of discovery in my life and see how the puzzle fit together before I was finally able to get confirmation around my purpose.
One action that helped tremendously was when I decided to get more specific with my prayers. I followed the steps that I described above and was able to uncover something I felt passionate about. Something that excited me. Something that I couldn't stop thinking about. I felt God encouraging me to share my story by writing this blog. I began to pray very specific prayers around this. "God do you want me to start this blog or just be more open to sharing my story in a general sense" His answer was clear. Share your story. Write the blog. Don't be afraid to get very specific with your prayers. You might be surprised at the answers that will be revealed to you.
3. Trust Your Gut
A number of years ago my wife and I were going through a particularly difficult time in our lives that left us wondering if we would ever have any children of our own. (God eventually blessed us with 3 wonderful miracle children and another one on the way). During this time, I had felt a gentle whisper from God telling me to share our story. I reluctantly moved forward with this, but the timing didn't seem right and the idea fizzled out. Though I still felt the desire buried deep inside my heart to continue in this direction.
Fast forward about 4 years later and much is different in my life. As I said, I now have a family of 5, and we're still growing. The timing seems right. I have confirmation this is indeed something God wants me to do. My wife is fully on board and due to the specificity of my prayers, I have a more focused goal and vision that was put on my heart. My desire is to share my story with the intention and purpose of helping other men be the heroes their families need. I want to share my mistakes, lessons I've learned, successes I've celebrated, and the failures I've grown from all for the same reason. To help other men, like myself, live their best life. I'm not a perfect father or some amazing husband, but what I am is devoted, willing to admit when I messed up and always looking to make every moment count with my family. I want to be their hero and live a life without regrets.
Don't ignore those subtle nudges, quiet whispers, or ideas that you can't stop thinking about. Your purpose might be hiding right behind them. Be obedient, listen to your gut, and take the leap.
Run Towards Your Purpose
Okay, so now you know what your purpose is. You've done the work, you have confirmation and you're excited about moving forward. What's next? Take action and run, don't walk. If you tiptoe into your purpose it’s very likely you will find reasons not to pursue it, as I did the first time. Don't be timid. I once heard a phrase that really speaks to this situation perfectly.
“God doesn't want promises for tommorow. He wants obedience for today.”
Don't get caught up in analysis paralysis. Ask yourself these questions. What is the first thing I need to do to move the ball forward? What is one action I can take TODAY to get started? Maybe you need an accountability partner to keep you on target. Maybe its a very focused, and direct goal to shoot for. Whatever it is, figure it out and take action.
Are you afraid? This comes with the territory. One of the best ways to grow is to do things that are outside of your comfort zone. Press on through any negative self-talk you have, doubts that arise, and criticism you may face. Uncovering your purpose can be scary. Am I apprehensive about sharing my story? Absolutely, but you know what would have been worse? Living with the regret that I didn't move forward with something that I knew excited me and very possibly could have been my purpose in life. That isn't scary, it’s downright horrifying. You only live one life so make sure it’s not filled with regrets.
“Hell could be defined as being visited, on your deathbed, by the man you could have become.”
I don't want to have regrets. That’s the reason you're reading this. I want to do everything in my power to make sure I live my best life and be the hero that my wife and children both need and deserve. I also hope and pray that I can help you do the same thing. Not sure of your purpose yet? Here’s a challenge for you. Take action on one or more of the ideas I listed earlier in this post and let me know how it’s going. Send an email, or check in on Facebook on Instagram with your progress. I'd love to hear how its going. Now go take action. It’s time to be that hero your meant to be.
Shane Achey | Hero Dad Mission
Shane Achey, founder of the Hero Dad Mission blog, is a devoted husband of nearly 10 years. He is also a father to 4 kids, twin 4 year old boys, a 3 year old little girl and his newborn daughter. Shane’s vision is to walk alongside other men, helping them become the heroes they’re meant to be.
Connect With Me On Social Media
