Build Radical Self Confidence by Silencing the Noise in Your Life

Distractions. They’re everywhere. In today’s world, there are so many voices vying for our attention. These voices are desperately trying to gain a foothold in our lives and keep us from engaging in any type of serious growth in our lives.

Ipads and laptops. Infinite podcast feeds. Music playlists. Audiobooks. A neverending email inbox. Highly addictive games. There are dozens more things that tend to distract us. This much is clear, constantly filling the gaps in your life with noise keeps you from highly valuable, maybe even life-changing reflections, thoughts, and ideas.

One of the best ways to build radical self-confidence is by silencing the noise in your life. Start listening to the most important voice you can listen to, your own. Here’s how.

Learning To Be Still

There is constant noise in my home. Three toddlers do their best to make peace and quiet something very elusive and rare in my life. Just when I think I’ve found it, naptime gets interrupted by a stubborn child who can’t (or refuses) to sleep. The morning routine I’m trying to build loses out to a sick kid who needs care. Sound familiar?

Ironically enough, when I finally get the opportunity to turn off the noise I often fail to step up and take advantage of the situation.

The long journey of getting to know yourself starts with being comfortable shutting out the world. It’s important to learn to be still. Men of faith are familiar with this concept. The Bible often tells of times where Jesus would exit the chaos and distractions of the world in favor of the tranquility and restoration he received by being alone. It seemed that whenever He needed guidance, encouragement, or direction he’d go off by himself and engage in prayer or reflection. One of my favorite bible verses speaks to the importance of following HIs lead and doing this ourselves. Psalm 46:10 states,

“Be still and Know that I am God.”

Easier said than done. It’s quite a process to commit to disconnecting. In fact, its probably even A lifelong journey. My faith reminds me of this and reinforces just how crucial personal reflection and solitude are to my mission as a man, husband, and father. Just as men of faith are to pray constantly (without ceasing) I believe as men, we are to be intentional about daily choosing to discover who we are truly are.

Stop Defaulting to Noise

The first step in this quest of self-discovery is to stop being lazy. You have to get comfortable with silence and be willing to stop defaulting to noise.

I find this to be a real struggle for me. Sure, peace and quiet are enjoyable, but self-discovery takes work. It takes effort and commitment. Do I sometimes stumble and find myself listening to the latest NFL podcast or a trending audiobook rather than being still? Absolutely, but I’m starting to really be aware of what’s happening and I’m choosing to sit with my thoughts and reflections and be open to discovering new things about myself.

What you’ll uncover about yourself is different for everybody. What is unambiguously true, however, is that what you are able to discover is largely dependent on the amount of time and effort you’re comfortable with investing.

Something I’ve become aware of as I’ve devoted more time to this is a better understanding of my shortcomings and weaknesses. For example, I grew to learn I have some real issues focusing on the task in front of me. One of the practical things I did to combat this was to create a mantra. A Mantra can be simply defined as a word or phrase that the mind uses to aid in concentration during meditation, prayer, or reflection. For me, it serves as a reminder of the importance of extreme focus in my life. It can be a great way to receive encouragement in the moment. I have repeated this practice of developing mantras for various other shortcomings in my life as well. I’m confident that I would not have discovered any of these breakthroughs without first making the decision to silence the noise in my life.

Stop MIndlessly Consuming Content

Technology was supposed to make our lives easier. It was intended to help us be more efficient and give us more time with our loved ones. Unfortunately, it’s done the opposite. It’s insidiously stolen the time we covet with those closest to us, especially ourselves.

One of the ways you can turn this around is to stop mindlessly consuming content like podcasts, e-books, and youtube videos. Be vigilant about limiting the time you spend engaging on social media sites like Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. What should you do instead?

One of the places I tend to consume the most content is in the car. So it’s also the place where I’m focused on improving. One of the things I currently enjoy in the car is rolling down the window and listening to the sounds of the wind, gazing at the sunset, and reflecting on my day. I’ll ask myself questions. What went well today? Where did I fail today? What could I do better tomorrow? What am I excited about for tomorrow?

Asking yourself questions, like the ones above, is a great way to discover more about who you are. Asking questions of myself, is something I’m working hard to improve in my life. I truly believe much of the growth and success that occurs in life is due to the questions you ask yourself. Tony Robbins even stated as much, “The quality of your life is a direct reflection of the quality of questions you are asking yourself.”

Learn To Love Nature

Being outside makes us happier, lowers stress, and increases creativity. Instead of burying your head in your phone opt for a walk, a nice jog, or maybe engage in some “forest bathing.” This term emphasizes things like:

spending large amounts of time outside
enjoying the sights, sounds, and smells of the great outdoors
taking time to lie down on the ground and just be still.

Camping trips are another great way to get outside and reconnect with yourself, or your friends and family all while staying disconnected from your devices. Focus instead on enjoying the silence, the conversation, and the company.

Take Time To Journal

Journaling your thoughts, ideas and plans is a great way to get them out of your head and recorded so you can review them later when you have the time. Besides just getting things out of your head, journaling offers a myriad of other benefits such as:

ability to track your progress, your growth and achieve your goals
build radical self-confidence
improve your writing skills
get inspired and generate new ideas
reduce stress and anxiety in your life

I carry my journal everywhere. I write down ideas I have, things I want to remember, schedules and planning for the week, as well as my original blog drafts and anything else I need to release from my mind. There is something truly enjoyable and almost even therapeutic about the dying art of handwriting things, as opposed to typing them on a laptop or a smartphone. Try it and see how it makes you feel.

Use The QRA Method

You are going to have weak moments. Sometimes you will just need to pause the mental gymnastics of self-discovery and engage in something a bit more relaxing like listening to a podcast, or two. I know I definitely have to do this. That’s okay. Just don’t let your mind go on auto-pilot. Interact with what you hear or read. All too often we listen to podcast after podcast and hardly remember anything that we heard during that time. We become too concerned with getting to the next episode on our list. This is the same for books, or youtube videos as well.

Podcasts are my kryptonite. Nothing pulls me further away from being the hero of my own life than hitting yes on the podcast repeat button and succumbing to my evil content junkie villainous ways. It’s just all too easy to listen to an episode and then let the auto-play feature seamlessly transport me right into the next one. At one point, in order to curb this behavior, I committed to stop listening to podcasts while I focused on the audiobook I was currently listening to. It was certainly a refreshing exercise and it helped to not overload my mind. Though It was beneficial, I can’t just ignore podcasts for the foreseeable future so I’ve since abandoned that approach in favor of what I’m calling the “QRA method”.

Podcasts are great resources that provide lots of valuable information. The problem is that so often what takes precedence over anything else is staying up to date. FOMO becomes the top priority rather than engaging and taking action on what you just listened to. This isn’t helping you move forward in your life. It certainly wasn’t for me. This is where the QRA method comes in.

Here’s how it works. You listen to a podcast and then before you can move on to the next one you need to be able to record at least 1 of the following things that you learned from listening to that particular podcast.

Q — Question — A generative question to ask your spouse.
R — Reflection — A reflection that can be journaled on or meditated about
A — Action — An action that you intend to implement into your life

If you didn’t get anything the first time around then try listening again. Maybe you weren’t devoting enough focus and attention. If you still haven’t gleaned anything after listening a few times then maybe this is an entertainment-only podcast. This just means that you can listen with the express purpose of being entertained and nothing else. I have a few of these myself. You need to leave room to be entertained in your life in order to give your mind some room to breathe. If the podcast isn’t on your list for entertainment purposes and you truly cannot write down 1 “Q,R,A” you heard then you may want to rethink whether it’s worthy of being on your subscription list. If you aren’t benefiting from listening to it all don’t let it be a placeholder on your subscription list. Unsubscribe.

This has really helped me to actively listen to the podcasts that I feel have earned the honor of being included on my list. It also has really helped me to keep the evil content junkie inside at an arms length.

“The Journey of A Thousand Miles Begins With a Single Step” ”

— Lao Tzu

Put in the work! Don’t be afraid to get to know yourself a little better. It’s a more than worthwhile journey that can truly help to build radical self-confidence in your life. Commit to silencing the noise and the voices that are trying to distract you from this mission. Don’t wait! Get started today so you can take the power away from the seemingly relentless content junkie that lives inside of you and instead experience real growth, walk with confidence and embrace the hero that you discover in the process.

Have you tried the “QRA method?” How is it going? What techniques do you use to silence the noise in your life? Share in the comments below, or you can reach out to me on Facebook, or Instagram. You can also get in touch with me by sending an email.

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Build Radical Self Confidence By Learning To Silence The Noise In Your Life